So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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