I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
it was like having sex with a tree stump
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Randomize
