That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize