a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
