piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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