Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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