We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
