I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
