I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
