yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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