But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
