watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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