Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
