My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
