Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
