So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
