Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
