The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
