seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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