Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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