Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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