SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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