remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
