Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just gift wrapped bread.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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