Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
