When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
