You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
