Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
