She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
