I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize