xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
They have beer where we have blood.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
