I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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