I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
