he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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