Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
