Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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