I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
