This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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