It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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