he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Hippo gnu deer
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
