You really coming over, don't trick.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
