? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
