okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
