On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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