6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
