glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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