I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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