White coat. Heels.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
