How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
