But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
