I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
