he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
