mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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