the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
home. puking in laundry basket.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
