On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
