dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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