He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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