You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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