don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize