He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
