how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
