just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
