I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
