Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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